Week Five
Nahid's emaciated past
So there I am in the changing room after my bikram yoga class when a woman comments on what great shape my body is in. Everyone turns to look as I try to dry myself nonchalantly while detailing the benefits of the DDS course, at the same time as trying to keep my dignity. Being scrutinised naked in the cold light of day is probably one of my least favourite things.
Although not quite as excruciating as the time I was having a full Brazilian and the waxer told me to hold my legs over my ears, I did, the table was immediately under a skylight (it was like God was looking down at me) and that day I learnt the true meaning of the word SHAME.
Anyway, what I am trying to say, in a very round about way, is that the course is working and noticeably so. Everyone has commented on how great I am looking and it’s true! I have bags of energy, my moods are balanced and my skin is great, I feel good in my clothes - and out of them - albeit in a slightly more private environment than the yoga studio.
My relationship to my body has always been this side of okay because... I rather like myself. I never compare myself unfavourably to other women, I just think they look great and so do I. Perfect features are nice to look at but give me a person who has a filthy laugh and a yarn to spin over some precious poppet who relies on his/her good looks to get by. I approach my body as a work in progress – sometimes it isn’t as I want it to be but as long as it is healthy - I can turn it around.
My upbringing however was very phobias-about-food inducing and can definitely be filed under “Tough Love”. Food is very central to families who hail from the Indian subcontinent and if you are the child of a first generation immigrant family - you’ll know exactly what I mean. In the Indian sitcom, Goodness Gracious Me, there’s a character (the mother) who pulls a gun on her family at the dinner table with the command, “Eat, Eat” because they refuse to take a second helping – God forgive me – but that is my Ma. Mealtimes were almost an act of terrorism, it's taken me quite a while to shrug it all off.
It was such a relief when I left home and was able to live to my own rhythm. I really enjoyed not eating - everyone who was anyone was emaciated. I didn’t eat very regularly from about 18 right through to my late 20’s. I was out all the time and spent my meagre amount of money on everything other than food. I had a real famine and feast approach to food – if it was there I’d eat like an urchin as I didn’t quite know when I’d get my next decent meal. Not eating very much kept me skinny, which isn't a healthy or sustainable way to stay thin.
It's only over the last 10 years that I have learnt how to live well. I have incorporated more gentle exercise into my regime to calm my mind, yoga and running by the river as opposed to free weights in gyms, kickboxing and running 3 times a week with a 10kg weighted vest - yes, I am aware how deranged that sounds. I enjoy the challenges of a hard core regime but need the calming influence of yoga because I'm not good at being still. I eat 3 meals a day now and this suits me fine. My energy levels are nicely balanced; I eat well to allow myself to live well.
I have once in my life been much heavier than I wanted to be. It was when I left a long term love. I felt really vulnerable in the world on my own so I just decided to eat everything I possibly could in an attempt to stop men hitting on me. I quickly put on 1 ½ stone, 8.5 stone is really heavy for my frame as I'm only 5’ 2''. It felt oddly liberating - I just didn't care what people thought of me. But blimey, it SO did not work. At parties men would pin me up against walls declaring their love - audacious reactions like that certainly didn't happen when I was skinnier.
Which just goes to show really, doesn’t it? It ain’t where your body is, it’s where your head’s at. My head is always in a better place when I eat, exercise and sleep well. If every woman learnt this early on in life - we'd all aspire to greater things than counting calories and rewarding ourselves with food points.
So this week's lesson is: love the body you’re in and it all starts to fall into place.
*a picture of my totally joyous shoes - aren't they heaven? These will get me through February.
Rachel confesses
The theme of this week’s blog is our attitude towards food and our bodies. I’m not sure that I like sharing my deepest darkest feelings with the world just yet. I don’t even like sharing things with my closest friends! But I will try to in the name of Good Vibes. I’ve been on and off diets since I was about 11. I’ve put weight on and dropped weight off again, probably like most women. I have done many crash and crazy diets and usually yo-yo between about 8 and 9 stone. Not that I particularly mind what size I am. When I’m slightly bigger its quite fun to be a bit curvy (burlesque style) and who doesn't’t like being petite with hip bones and all the rest?
You can never stick to a ridiculous diet of weighing food or trying to squeeze all portions into a small bowl. Because its boring for the person doing it and its boring for everyone around you. Stupid diets will invariably end and you will then eat more than you normally would to make up for the previous lack of eating, then weight will be gained – hence the yo –yo side of dieting.
I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of my lifetime feelings towards food because you’ll get bored and I hardly know you! But, I can say that this whole drop a dress size thing is working for me. I haven’t really felt like I’m on a ‘diet’. I’ve been making good choices, but if I’ve wanted bread, alcohol, chocolate, whatever - then I’ve had some. And, it seems to be working (the end of week 5’s measurements will tell for sure – biting nails already!). My legs feel quite solid with muscle now, my tummy is so much flatter and I have some bulging (in a madonna-esq way) biceps. Plus I had to hold my trousers up whilst running down escalators on the tube yesterday! But, this could mean that they just need a good tumble dry!!
I’m hoping the measurements next week show some
improvement to keep me encouraged! I actually can’t believe how quickly its gone! 10 weeks isn’t so long after all!
Kate is sick of lettuce
I can't eat lettuce any more, it's official. The thought of it makes me feel sick, to the point where I can't have it in a sandwich! I think I was a bit naive when started the DDS and thought lettuce and salads were the only way forward, when in reality there is so much out there and tastier options too! I have been really into fish and veg, it's way more filling than salad. Cutting down on carbs is alien to me as when I used to play football 4 times a week it was drilled into us to eat pasta and potatoes so trying to cut a habit of a lifetime out has been hard.
However, I find that I don't need to train has hard in the gym, 40 minutes cardio and plates are enough at the minute, plus I have much more energy during the day. I'm still finding out what works best for me as I am unable to play as much footie but I'm getting there! I think I have a good attitude to my body because I've played football for most of my life and you can't really be namby pamby about it - you had had to get on with it, eat well to play hard.
It is my Birthday on Tuesday ( so not good a week before the measuring) and I have lots of evenings out planned. This will reallytest the will power! I know for a fact that I will be having a few cheeky drinks (and with fellow DDS girls!) but will try and lay off the bad stuff like beer and wine but how can you say no to
birthday drinks?
Steph gives up bread
This week has been a toughy! Many a temptation has crossed my path so by mid-week I had to rectify my naughty ways. A few hardcore sessions on the plate, and a swim later, I'm feeling back on it!
Since doing the DDS, I decided to cut out most of the bread I had been eating. This made me feel less bloated and sluggish. I had one of my first sandwiches the other day which immediately brought on these effects - as well as making my tummy look noticeably bigger, so for the rest of the course I will definitely try to banish the bread.
I am what can be described as a yo-yo dieter - I easily slip into a pattern of auto-pilot eating/heavy meals etc, then something in my head just clicks and I become a bit obsessed by dropping the pounds. Dieting is something which I think about a lot and I am such an unbelievable sucker for 'quick' fixes and results. I think this is why DDS is working for me so far, 10 weeks is a relatively short time - even for the most impatient person like me! The tips are easy to live with and I love the speed of the plates. I am feeling quite hopeful about the measure-in at the end of the week.
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